It has been a while since we got to go out. Well, I think it was the last random thing we did together and after that, a space just existed. I wanted to believe that it was just a phase and that everything will just go back to the way it used to be. I guess I was wrong.
You were never the type of person to be tied down by other people, even by the people you consider as friends. When you want something, you go get it and I respect you for that. You know that I will always support you with everything that you want and will do in your life. But there is a part in me, a selfish part of me that wanted you to stop somehow and see the beautiful things that you have accomplished and that you need not to prove more.
There is this selfish part in me that wants to tell you that "Hey, I really want to spend time with you, but I think you're too busy to notice." I've been going the extra mile to make you feel that I am here waiting for you and that when all else fails, you could talk to me and have a relaxed normal life. Just the way we were during those times we wouldn't care about the world and just chill. Besides the fact that I wanted to spend more time with you, I was worried about you. (you know that) I never understood your need of affiliating yourself with a thousand others when in fact you are treasured here in your chosen few. Are we not enough to keep you happy and busy? Are the existing people and family and friends and attachments and affiliations that you have are not enough to keep you satisfied and whole? Why do you keep on searching for more?
I think that no matter how hard I try to attempt to understand what is running inside your head, I'll never get to grasp it since you won't let me in. Even though that I know you love me (as am I that's why I'm writing this to you) to death and that you will support with me with anything and everything that I do, I want you to know that you have limitations, that you are human, and like the President of the Philippines and the richest and smartest man in the world, you only have twenty-four hours in your hand a day. That you have a family to love, a God to revere, relationships to nurture, your dog to play with, your hobby of reading books, LAW school to prepare, academics to tend to, organizations to love, YOUR FREAKIN HEALTH LIKE HELLO YOU ARE NO SUPERHERO and THREE OTHER CRAZY FRIENDS TO BE CRAZY WITH.
I just want you to know, that we are here for you, that the time we have to spend together every day is counted and that the clock is ticking for us. We only have three more semesters to go and I want you to enjoy every minute of it since after this, we will be busy working for the rest of our lives. We still have so much to do in our bucket list. Wouldn't you want to look back to a college life that you seriously enjoyed and made the most out of it?
Our friendship will not change no matter what road you choose. If you still opt to wander to uncharted areas of your life, I will respect and support you. I'm not asking you to change, I just want you to realize... that we are still and we will always be waiting for you... to go back to Intramuros and eat isaw at mayon.
In short, I miss you girlie.